Our Response to the Death of Nex Benedict
Authors note: Nex used He/they pronouns, to honor his wishes we will use both in this article to describe them. This article has a content warning for the following topics: Anti-LGBTQ rhetoric, violence, transphobia, and death. If you or someone you know is impacted by these issues or is considering suicide, a list of resources, including the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, is available at the bottom of the story.
On February 7th, 2024 Gender expansive teen Nex Benedict was beaten by three older classmates in their high school bathroom. On February 8th, Nex was declared dead.
For more than a year before his death, Nex was mercilessly bullied. According to Nex’s mother, the bullying began at the start of the 2023 school year, mere months after Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt passed a transphobic bill. This bill required all public school students to use the bathroom that matched the sex listed on their birth certificates. This bill set the stage for the assault Nex faced.
Along with this bill, actions taken by the state and Nex’s school district enabled anti-LGBTQ behavior until a boiling point was reached. In 2022, the account “Libs of Tiktok” targeted an admired teacher in Nex’s district for speaking out in support of LGBTQ+ students. Due to these attacks, the teacher faced threats and harassment until their ultimate resignation. In January, Oklahoma Superintendent of Public Schools, Ryan Walters, appointed Chaya Raichik, Libs of TikTok’s founder, to the state’s library advisory committee.
Nex’s death was a result of ignorance, hateful lies, and a complete disregard for human life. The more I read about this case, the more my heart shatters. As a young, gender non-conforming individual myself, it is horrifying that his death can be seen as anything less than devastating. Yet politicians across the country have spoken out in disgusting ways. Senator Tom Woods, as one particularly cruel example, noted that while his "heart goes out" in regards to Benedict's death, he asserts he "doesn't want that filth in Oklahoma."
To put it simply, I am angry. I am scared. But most of all, I am not alone. Vigils have been held nationwide in honor of Nex. Rainbow Youth Project, a national hotline, reported receiving over 200 calls from Oklahoma on the weekend following Benedict's death, more than three times the usual amount, with many mentioning Benedict's death, and most reported being bullied themselves. On February 26, at least 40 students at Nex’s High School participated in a school walkout, citing concerns about bullying and in support of the 2SLGBTQ community at the school and in the city.
But despite our actions, it never seems to be enough. The reckless, horrifying behavior of politicians is despicable. Our lives are not a political statement. Our lives are not something to be forgotten. Each day tensions in this country rise to the point that Queer people like myself are afraid to speak out for fear that we may be next: to be targeted, harassed, or even killed.
Since this tragedy occurred I’ve been fighting myself over whether or not to speak about Nex. The truth is, the thing we’ve been talking about happening is happening. We’ve warned everyone we could that the increasing anti-trans sentiment we see growing every day is worsening, and we’re reaching a breaking point. LGBTQ violence is not a new thing, and Nex is simply its latest victim. I’m writing this post in mourning, we cannot afford to forget all of those that have died. We cannot afford to forget their stories.
Amongst all that is happening in this world, I still have hope that the world we live in now has the potential to change. I have hope that we can gain acceptance and not have to live in fear for our very lives. This post and this story are some of the most important things I will ever write. I ask that you share it, pass it along, and keep Nex’s memory alive. If you have LGBTQ people in your life, please check on them, share a smile, and let them know that you are there for them. These are scary times we are living in, and we need all the support we can get.
I leave you here with some parting words from Nex’s biological grandmother, who formally adopted Nex a few years ago. As she learned more from Nex, she dedicated herself to expanding her mindset, noting that, “it would be very boring if we were all the same. It’s on the inside that matters the most.”
“Nex had a light in them that was so big, they had so many dreams. I want their light to keep shining for everyone. That light was so big and bright and beautiful, and I want everyone to remember Nex that way,” she said.
“I was so proud of Nex. They were going someplace, they were so free,”
I hope you’re finally flying free.
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